Walking in faith takes strength

          Walking in faith takes strength. A massive amount of strength. Walking into the unknown is a scary thing. You're constantly looking over your shoulder, you'd swear you see things moving in the shadows, and because the path ahead is not well lit you doubt if you're headed in the right direction at all. Having lost my job on July 1st, 2013, I was thrust into darkness. I thought I knew where I was going and what I was supposed to do. Not so, said the Lord. For two years, I was in the wilderness. The canopy of trees allowed no sunlight to enter. From homelessness to bouts of deep depression, I was going through. Miraculously, the Lord was still with me. It didn't feel good and I didn't like how long it was taking but He was still there. In my bouts of depression (which I've come to believe He allowed) He would reveal things to me. Things from my past that I didn't understand and couldn't make sense of as a child. He gave me encouraging messages. He had me to the point where I could only depend on Him. Having lost both my earthly mother and father, He was the only parent I had and He wanted me to know that He was all I needed. 
          At the beginning of this year He allowed me to come out. I'm not completely out, but almost there. He still had/has some things He needed to show me. Some things in me that He had to change and rearrange.  It's been an amazing ride and I'm not even the same person I was 8 months ago when He finally brought me out from among them (the nay-sayers, and negative people that were hindering my walk). I went from loathing the idea of marriage to almost desiring to be in that sacred institution with my Adam. I went from wanting to be a medic (you know, patch 'em up and send them back out) in God's army to wanting to be part of the infantry (on the front lines). In 8 short months, I've realized my purpose and how it will manifest in my life. For years, I wondered what my purpose was.  I struggled with what my life meant in the big scheme of things. In 8 months though, He showed me that my horrible childhood has a purpose. That the very things I fought the hardest against will be what I fight for the hardest for. God is awesome!
          They say everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it's hard to accept that my life was crap just so I could help someone else, but you know what.....I'm glad I went through and made it out. There are plenty of teenagers going through what I went through and I'm honored that the Lord trusts me enough to help them. It's frustrating sometimes and it's hard to deal with the emotions that arise, but it's all worth it.
          The scripture says in 1Peter 1:10, But the God of grace, who has called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. We only have to suffer a little while. It may seem like an eternity to us, but it doesn't compare to the blessing of eternal life for believing in Him, trusting Him, being obedient to Him, and loving Him. Hold on my brothers and sisters. Troubles don't last always. I can say it now, but when I was going through it felt like it was one tragedy after the next and I didn't think I could hold on. I kept asking, how much longer Lord? Haven't I suffered enough? He died on Calvary for us. He endure the whipping, the spear in His side, the crown of thorns, and the nails in His hands and feet so that we would have the victory over everything the devil would throw at us. Hold on, a change is gonna come.
          This is the season of revelation and restoration. All we have to do is hold on and have faith. I am a witness to God's mercy and grace and his unconditional love. He has healed wounds that I thought would never heal. He has given me a new outlook on life and I am excited. Do I get discouraged sometimes? Of course I do. Does it seem like the process is taking to long, that I'll never fully walk into what He called me to do? Certainly! But I stay in the word, I stay in His presence and I know that everything that comes my way now is only because I am so close and the devil wants me to feel defeated and like God isn't listening and doesn't love me. I rebuke satan at every turn and I press on. Looking forward to the day that His promises to me come to fruition.
          I pray that all of my brothers and sisters just hold on, open their hearts and minds to what God has in store so we can march boldly, arm in arm into battle. Faith takes strength. Your tests and trials have given you that strength. Just tap into it and stop looking at the circumstances right now. There is a bigger picture that this time in your life is only but a small part of. Trust our Father in heaven and move with the strength He has given you! You are stronger than you think!