Let me just start by saying, I've been pretty hardcore my whole life. My grandmother use to tell me that whatever came up didn't have to come out. I didn't sugar coat stuff to spare people, I always felt like complete honesty was always best. I saw crying as a weakness. It didn't solve anything and it always gave me a headache. Until......
As God broke down my walls. those were the first bricks to come down. Everything makes me cry. It wasn't that I didn't empathize with people or I wasn't compassionate, I just wasn't as sensitive as I should/could have been. Now, I feel like I'm hyper sensitive. I still don't like showing emotion but when I hear someone's story of how they overcame, a testimony of how the Lord blessed or delivered them, I get a little teary eyed, lol. I have realized that when the Holy Spirit has or is moving, I get a chill and tears instantly form. It was a little nerve wracking at first. I'm still not completely comfortable with it, but I can't stop it.
I said all of that to say, that doing kingdom work, you can't be afraid of being vulnerable or being transparent. That most humiliating or embarrassing issue you had may be exactly what someone else needs to hear to be delivered. Writing my story has made me more vulnerable than ever. My transparency about the old me will bless someone else. So it is with the Lord's work. Every catastrophe or horrible situation you've encountered was meant for someone else. If you made it through and are stronger for it, it was meant to help someone else make it through. You never know how your story can pull someone from the brink of giving up completely. Your light may be the very thing that brings someone out of the darkness.
Like I said, I don't care what anyone thinks about the old me because as scripture says, "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things," 1 Corinthians 13:11. I'm not the old me and there is nothing you can say to make me feel ashamed or guilty, no more than the enemy did to keep me in my sin. Growing up doesn't always mean just stepping up to the plate and handling your business. It also means, accepting the past for what it was and leaving it behind. It doesn't mean forget, because we all know some Christians that seemed to have forgotten all their sins before they gave their lives to the Lord. And! Unfortunately, they don't share their story with anyone to help deliver them, they would rather gossip and point fingers and judge and condemn. I found that to be the case in my childhood church, one of the reasons I could no longer attend.
Here I am however, having been a single mother raising 4 children alone, taking care of my mother for years, taking care of other peoples loved ones as a profession, and not needing a man to complete me. My Father supplied all of our needs despite my history and all my sins. Here I am, a vessel, unclean and sinful, still being used for His glory despite what people said and thought. God is awesome! My prayer is only that we all help the person next to us, when given the opportunity. You never know what someone else is struggling with or has been through.
Take stock in what you have and give thanks for how the Lord delivered you, then do it for the next person. What can it hurt? Your pride? How other people look at you? The only thing that truly matters is what the Lord thinks of you. No one on earth has a heaven or hell to place you in, so walk boldly in the face of the nay sayers and haters and do what the Lord has placed in your heart. "Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the Lord," Jeremiah 1:8
Monday, February 27, 2017
Sunday, February 26, 2017
Single in Christ and OK
Once again I have been placed in a situation to witness and teach, I suppose. Being a nurse, I'm always surrounded by women of all walks of life, in all stages of life. I have yet to meet one that is truly happy. We all have our back stories that no one knows until we share it. Sometimes you can know things about people just through their behaviors and actions but that is just speculation until they themselves reveal it or the Holy Spirit. It's difficult to deal with people sometimes even when you know their story, but that is where prayer and patience come in.
I said all of that to say, that most of the women I encounter are single and unhappy. Some single by choice, some single and actively looking, or recently single. My best friend who is a pastor told me recently that I have mastered being single. What does that mean? I enjoy being by myself. I enjoy my me time. I know how to be with myself and I genuinely like who I am. I don't need someone to validate me or make me feel special or take care of me. My Father who is in heaven has done all of that and has given me the means to take care of myself. My job is people based, I see and deal with people all the time, so I don't need to be with someone when I get home. Truth be told, I hate crowds. I HATE shopping. I truly despise dealing with the public at large, they are rude and inconsiderate. They are always in your personal space.
Am I an introvert? No, actually I can be either an introvert or extravert, BUT! I enjoy quiet spaces and time to myself more. Thusly, being single is not an issue for me. Besides, I have teenagers that keep me occupied. With them around, I don't feel like I'm missing anything.
With that being said, it was not difficult for the Lord to converse with me. I don't have the distractions that most women have; either married or just in a relationship. As I said, I have teenagers and you know, teenagers are rarely at home. So, I enjoy my me time, my me and my Father time. When you sit still and listen, you can hear so much. For those women that struggle with purpose and identity...you only need to sit still. The problems of the world will always be there...the answers to them all resides in our Father. You have to sit still long enough so He can whisper them to you.
So, being a single, Christian woman means what? Looks like what? There is a scripture in the Bible that says, An unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 1 Corinthians 7: 34. It's not bad to want to be married, but your priority is with your family (world). When you are single, you can concentrate on those things that please the Lord. Things like, being healed from your past. He wants that for us. Like finding your purpose in the kingdom. Allowing Him to reveal or strengthen your gifts and talents. Allowing Him to reveal your future in Him.....
It's not easy to be single when you have no purpose or direction, but when you spend time with the Lord He'll give you what you need until it's your time. This time looks different for every woman depending on what your purpose is in the kingdom. It depends on your vocation or career. It depends on the plan He has for you and believe me, He has a plan for every woman. In some religions or even just in the collective secular mindset, it is believed that woman have no real role in the body of Christ or that our roles are specifically to serve and take care of. Not so! There are so many holes in the body that can be filled by women.
A woman in the body can have several roles. In the word is says that older women should teach the younger women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed; Titus 2:4-5. That should be a given. The older women should be examples to the younger women. In todays society, the younger women are not learning how to be women, how to be wives, how to be mothers. The body needs more Christian examples of what a Christian woman should be. Yes, women are teachers, but women can also be preachers, apostles, evangelists, and prophets not just deaconess' or missionaries. It's all according to God's plan for that particular woman, not what any man, tradition, or doctrine has to say.
So, if you are a single woman, stop worrying about the cares of the world and focus on Jesus Christ our savior. Concern yourself only with what He has to say about you and to you. When this mindset has been adopted, the desires to be married or in a relationship diminish greatly. There are so many things we as women have endured and been subjected to. Allow the Lord to heal you before He sends your Adam. Don't place the burden of making you feel whole or giving you an identity by giving you his last name to a man. He is only human and will disappoint you. He may even walk away if you put that burden on him. The only man capable of making you whole, removing those things that you are ashamed of, and healing your heart, is Jesus Christ. Take this time to get to know Him and allow Him to be your man, because no one can take care of you like He can.
Once you have allowed Him to work on you, He will reveal to you the true nature of marriage. He will reveal to you what your marriage is purposed to do and accomplish in the kingdom. It's nothing like you thought, nothing like you've seen. Marriage is not a selfish endeavor meant to give us the physical and mental gratification we desire, that is just a byproduct. Marriage was created to serve the Kingdom as well. It was designed to give God the Glory and point others in the direction of the cross and our savior who died there for us. Joy, peace and happiness come with being obedient and doing kingdom work.
You have to seek Him out with all your heart, mind and soul and He will reveal the mysteries of heaven to you. Be content with where you are or you will not be content when you get whatever it is you're asking for. I saw a quote that said, " Don't ask the Lord for something else when you aren't content with what you have." Those are words to live by. Every place in time, every situation, every season has a purpose....be content and learn whatever it is He has for you in that time.
Your next will be greater!
I said all of that to say, that most of the women I encounter are single and unhappy. Some single by choice, some single and actively looking, or recently single. My best friend who is a pastor told me recently that I have mastered being single. What does that mean? I enjoy being by myself. I enjoy my me time. I know how to be with myself and I genuinely like who I am. I don't need someone to validate me or make me feel special or take care of me. My Father who is in heaven has done all of that and has given me the means to take care of myself. My job is people based, I see and deal with people all the time, so I don't need to be with someone when I get home. Truth be told, I hate crowds. I HATE shopping. I truly despise dealing with the public at large, they are rude and inconsiderate. They are always in your personal space.
Am I an introvert? No, actually I can be either an introvert or extravert, BUT! I enjoy quiet spaces and time to myself more. Thusly, being single is not an issue for me. Besides, I have teenagers that keep me occupied. With them around, I don't feel like I'm missing anything.
With that being said, it was not difficult for the Lord to converse with me. I don't have the distractions that most women have; either married or just in a relationship. As I said, I have teenagers and you know, teenagers are rarely at home. So, I enjoy my me time, my me and my Father time. When you sit still and listen, you can hear so much. For those women that struggle with purpose and identity...you only need to sit still. The problems of the world will always be there...the answers to them all resides in our Father. You have to sit still long enough so He can whisper them to you.
So, being a single, Christian woman means what? Looks like what? There is a scripture in the Bible that says, An unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 1 Corinthians 7: 34. It's not bad to want to be married, but your priority is with your family (world). When you are single, you can concentrate on those things that please the Lord. Things like, being healed from your past. He wants that for us. Like finding your purpose in the kingdom. Allowing Him to reveal or strengthen your gifts and talents. Allowing Him to reveal your future in Him.....
It's not easy to be single when you have no purpose or direction, but when you spend time with the Lord He'll give you what you need until it's your time. This time looks different for every woman depending on what your purpose is in the kingdom. It depends on your vocation or career. It depends on the plan He has for you and believe me, He has a plan for every woman. In some religions or even just in the collective secular mindset, it is believed that woman have no real role in the body of Christ or that our roles are specifically to serve and take care of. Not so! There are so many holes in the body that can be filled by women.
A woman in the body can have several roles. In the word is says that older women should teach the younger women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed; Titus 2:4-5. That should be a given. The older women should be examples to the younger women. In todays society, the younger women are not learning how to be women, how to be wives, how to be mothers. The body needs more Christian examples of what a Christian woman should be. Yes, women are teachers, but women can also be preachers, apostles, evangelists, and prophets not just deaconess' or missionaries. It's all according to God's plan for that particular woman, not what any man, tradition, or doctrine has to say.
So, if you are a single woman, stop worrying about the cares of the world and focus on Jesus Christ our savior. Concern yourself only with what He has to say about you and to you. When this mindset has been adopted, the desires to be married or in a relationship diminish greatly. There are so many things we as women have endured and been subjected to. Allow the Lord to heal you before He sends your Adam. Don't place the burden of making you feel whole or giving you an identity by giving you his last name to a man. He is only human and will disappoint you. He may even walk away if you put that burden on him. The only man capable of making you whole, removing those things that you are ashamed of, and healing your heart, is Jesus Christ. Take this time to get to know Him and allow Him to be your man, because no one can take care of you like He can.
Once you have allowed Him to work on you, He will reveal to you the true nature of marriage. He will reveal to you what your marriage is purposed to do and accomplish in the kingdom. It's nothing like you thought, nothing like you've seen. Marriage is not a selfish endeavor meant to give us the physical and mental gratification we desire, that is just a byproduct. Marriage was created to serve the Kingdom as well. It was designed to give God the Glory and point others in the direction of the cross and our savior who died there for us. Joy, peace and happiness come with being obedient and doing kingdom work.
You have to seek Him out with all your heart, mind and soul and He will reveal the mysteries of heaven to you. Be content with where you are or you will not be content when you get whatever it is you're asking for. I saw a quote that said, " Don't ask the Lord for something else when you aren't content with what you have." Those are words to live by. Every place in time, every situation, every season has a purpose....be content and learn whatever it is He has for you in that time.
Your next will be greater!
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